How I learned to pee in the forest: Ask for help when you need it

It was my first time in Israel, and I was on a hike in the mountains with my youth group. We had been hiking for a few hours and the contents of my water bottle had made its way to my bladder. And of course, there was no washroom in sight. Yes, I had gone camping before, but I was accustomed to an outhouse of some kind. Somewhere sheltered and private, even though it smelled like death inside.

In that moment, panic enveloped me—what to do? How do I? Where do I? Especially with everybody around! My peers disappeared one by one into forest nooks and reappeared with proud smiley faces, as if they scored perfect on a test. They were content and happy. I was green with envy as I needed to do what they did but I had no idea how to do it.

Worst of all, I was afraid to ask. Completely embarrassing! Out of the corner of my eye stood my madricha (“counsellor” in Hebrew). A gentle soul who walked around as if she had just finished a yoga class—completely calm. She never overreacted or raised her voice to our group of rambunctious young adults. The ideal person to ask for directions, so to speak.

“I have to go, but I don’t … I can’t … ” I whispered into her ear with a look on my face that explained everything. Her eyes softened as she instructed the group to walk ahead, as we would catch up. Then she turned to me, with her Zen-like presence and told me to relax and to try. I shrugged and agreed. Maybe I could do it. How hard could it be? Everyone else seemed to do it fine.

Squatting behind a bunch of secluded bushes after pulling down my pants, I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. I couldn’t understand what was going on because I really had to go, and we still had hours before our hike was completed. I pulled my pants back up and marched over to my madricha and whimpered as if I couldn’t find my way home, even though I knew where I lived.

“What’s going on, it’s not like I don’t know how to pee!?”
“Of course, you know how. But your body is confused because you’ve never done this before in a place like this.”

I felt understood, cared for. And she believed that I could do it.
“We have time. I’m not leaving here until you pee.”

I marched back to my spot to try again. This time I was armed with how my madricha made me feel. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and imagined I was in my bathroom at home. I sensed everything in my body relaxing and letting go.

“I’m peeeeeiiinnnng!!!!” I screamed with delight as laughter was heard on the other side of the tree where I chose to launch my new skill. Who knew this scenario was teaching me the biggest lesson of my life? The challenges you face in life are so hard to manage alone and it’s all about the company you keep that will help you bring out your full potential. Cheering you on to do something you may be afraid to do, but really want to.

An excerpt from How I Learned To Pee in the Forest by Sharon Neiss Arbess.