An excerpt from Women Waking Up, by Wendy Valentine
I’ve always been fascinated by the lotus flower. At first glance, it appears to be just a delicate, pretty flower floating on the pond, soaking up the sunlight. But au contraire — the lotus is a power flower!
Every evening, the lotus retreats beneath the surface of the pond into the chilly, murky mud. It rests and sleeps there peacefully. Then every morning it pushes through the heavy mud and rises to the surface to greet the sun. As the sun’s rays grow brighter and warmer, the lotus expands and opens its petals.
What is truly fascinating is that the petals of the lotus remain completely flawless, with no trace of mud. This phenomenon even has a scientific name: the lotus effect. As the lotus emerges, water droplets pick up the dirt, causing the mud to roll right off the petals.
As the sun sets, the lotus begins to close its petals tightly. It slowly dips back into the cold, dark mud, where it rests for the night. The next day, it repeats the cycle all over again.
Sink underwater, sleep in the mud, seek the sun, soak up the light.
The lotus and you
To apply the story of the lotus to our own lives, let’s examine what each element represents. The mud symbolizes the challenges and hardships we face. They include trauma, divorce, anxiety, death, disease, physical abuse, mental abuse, depression, debt, toxic relationships, bankruptcy, crappy jobs, unemployment, difficult childhoods, and addiction. That’s one messy mud pie!
Though the mud represents negativity and darkness, it also brings positivity and nourishment. Just as the mud provides essential nutrients for the lotus’s growth, our life experiences help us evolve and grow.
The reality is, we all have mud. We all endure cold, dark experiences. As the saying goes, “Shit happens.” Mud happens. It’s part of life. We just have to manage our mud. We need to appreciate the mud, just as the lotus appreciates the mud.
If the mud represents the darkness and fear in your life, then the sun represents the light and love. Just as the lotus depends on the sun to rise each day, you can rely on love to be present in your life every day. Fear and darkness are part of life, but so are love and light. It is the dichotomy and duality of existence. Every day when you rise, you have a choice of what to focus on: love or fear. The choice is yours.
In conclusion, mud is guaranteed in life. The key is not to carry the mud on your petals, as it will only weigh you down and hinder your growth. The solution lies in applying the Lotus Effect to your hardships, allowing you to blossom into the woman you were meant to be. By finding the wisdom in your woes, you can be in the world, but not of the world; in the mud, but not of the mud. Much like a lotus emerging from the cold, dark mud every morning, you can shake off your hardships and awaken to the light of a new you.
Adapted from Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play. Copyright© 2025 by Wendy Valentine. Reprinted with permission from New World Library. www.newworldlibrary.com
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