As someone in their early twenties, there is an unshakeable unsatisfied feeling.
Don’t get me wrong, living in what’s deemed the prime of my youth isn’t something I fail to appreciate and take joy in. Though I’m no longer a kid, and I can’t say I fully feel like an adult, so I am in a constant state of waiting for the day my life ‘takes off’.
Growing up, like so many, I had big city dreams. I aspired, and still do, to fulfill my romantic comedy-esque dreams of working in New York as a journalist. When you’re a kid, you can materialize your dreams. They feel real, like you can grasp them no matter how big they are. You begin planning your life around these expectations you have for yourself, without doubt that they will come true.
(Click here to read Lauren’s last article on finding connection through crochet)
Responsibilities, growing up and being realistic with your future path are all things that come with this season of life. But, I miss the part of myself that reached for the stars without caring where I fell. It’s an eye roller to say I feel disappointed to be 22 and not be where 7-year-old me envisioned. I get it, the sheer irony of being in your 20s and feeling like you’re running out of time.
But, the disappointed feeling of not being exactly where you want to be at is one we all know and have to sit with.
So, I’m learning to feel appreciative of the ‘in between’. In between my career being exactly what I want it to look like. In between the perfect love life. In between living in my dream city. The overly ambitious part of me feels like this mindset is letting myself down, but the version of me I’m growing into tells a different story.
I’m working on giving myself the grace to go through life slowly and messily, and being grateful for the roadbumps along the way. There’s a lot of talk nowadays of trusting in the universe, and that knowing the right path will come does hold some truth.
But for me, I also believe we need to trust in ourselves to make the right decisions, learn from the wrong ones and in due time, my “I made it” moment will come.