It was 2010, the year I turned 30. A significant milestone. Every year I’m alive I consider it a blessing. But some people get so weird when they hit another decade; they get depressed. Not me. I read one of Oprah Winfrey’s books, What I Know For Sure, and there’s a part where she said she tells people her age proudly because there are far too many who never reach that age; they’re gone too soon. That resonated with me. I don’t see getting older as a bad thing.
When it comes to the broadcasting industry, some will say age does matter, because I’ll probably be replaced by a younger woman. What an absolute and utter bullshit mentality to have. I see a lot of older men on my TV, are they being told the same thing? No. I don’t let my age be a hindrance, and I sure as hell don’t allow anyone else to do so either.
But Andi, you can’t control the decisions made by executives!
Yes, I can, and yes, you can. And how we do that is by talking about it. Bringing it to the forefront. Calling out ageism. We need to change our attitude. When men get older in this industry, they’re seen as experienced, credible, and worth every penny in their new contract. When women get older in this industry, they’re seen as washed-up, too expensive, and easily replaceable by someone younger and cheaper.
The threat of ‘age’ was manufactured by the industry, and women were the ones left suffering. For years, we’ve been made to believe that once you hit a certain age, you better start looking over your shoulder for the younger woman who’s about to replace you. This, sadly, ends up turning women against one another when we should be fostering beautiful mentoring relationships. Instead, older women see younger women as threats. Older women end up ignoring younger women or treating them rudely. In turn, younger women are made to believe they’ve been brought on board to replace older women. Instead of seeing the experienced woman as someone with mounds of knowledge that can be shared and having wisdom to help navigate this tricky and exhausting landscape, she is reduced to an obstacle that the younger woman must eliminate.
How sad. How horrible. How infuriating!
It’s a form of lateral oppression. This is when a marginalized group, in this case, women in the sports industry, bully each other so they can look good in front of their male counterparts.
And some men in this industry, whether consciously or not, enjoy pitting women against one another.
I was working at Leafs TV, and I was only in my mid-twenties. We had recently hired a woman a tad bit younger than me. A couple of male co-workers turned to me and said, with sly grins on their faces: “Ooooo Petrillo, you have some competition now! You scared?”
What in the actual hell were these two morons talking about? The look on my face must’ve said it all. Their stupid, sly grins were gone.
“Why would I see her as competition?” I challenged.
They had no answer.
“Is it because we’re both women? Because there’s only room for one of us?” That’s when the backpedalling began. “Petrillo, we’re just messing with you.”
“Did anyone mess with you when we hired another guy?” Conversation over.
I knew exactly where their mentality came from. They too were a product of deep-seated beliefs that women in the sports industry were often regarded as token hires. Not to mention, at that time, women entering the sports space were still seen as a novelty. People felt the need to describe women in the industry using their gender. For example, they would make a point of saying: “This is so and so, a female sports reporter” or “This is so and so, a female sports host.”
It was to the point that I even believed I had to include my gender in my job title. One day, I was hanging out in the office of my producer, Mark Askin. I had just returned from an afternoon at a local high school talking to kids about careers. When I told Mark they had introduced me by saying ‘female sportscaster,’ he was not impressed.
“Wait a second, kiddo. Why did they have to say, ‘female?’ It’s pretty obvious you’re a woman. Why feel the need to point it out?” When Joe Bowen walks into a room, do you think he says, Hi, I’m Joe Bowen, a male sportscaster? You bet he doesn’t. You’re a sportscaster, period. And you should be respected as such.
It was an epiphanic moment for me.
We continue to differentiate women in sports, even when it comes to the naming of professional leagues. You have the NBA, and then you have the WNBA. You have the NHL, and then you have the PWHL. You have MLS, and then you have the NWSL. I get it, the men’s leagues launched first, so you knew it was men competing. But I think we’ve arrived at a point where gender in the title isn’t necessary. That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when Diana Matheson named her new women’s soccer league Northern Super League.
For so long, when a woman ‘made it’ and was able to have a career in sports, she was tagged as being the token female amongst the men. Those women worked damn hard to get to that spot and most definitely took a lot of shit along the way. I can see why they wanted to hold on to this coveted position because they were always told there’s only so much room for women here.
Enough. That’s simply not true. And it never was.
I often ask women: “Do you want to be a lone token in this industry or part of a treasure chest full of gold?” My answer is always - Gimme, gimme all the jewels!
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