The Real Housewives really helped me

As I’m sure many of you remember, in the early months of 2020, the world entered the COVID-19 pandemic, an unprecedented event in many people’s lives. This marked the beginning of a period of worldwide loss, accompanied by political and economic uncertainty. On a personal note, I was experiencing stress and grief like I never had before. Two of my grandparents died, and my best friend lost their father. I was in the honours year of my history degree, and reading nearly 1000 pages of academic texts a week. I, like many others, was on and off EI and huddling around the TV to watch Dr. Tam dutifully deliver her daily COVID report, day in and day out. When I think back to it, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I and the rest of the world were collectively having what can only be described as “a pretty bad time.”

I needed an escape, a retreat. I was so scared and sad, and reading so many pages about the history of Eastern European immigrant labour movements in Western Canada (the area I chose to focus on in one of my thesis classes). My eyes were so sore, my brain so tired. I needed something light, I needed to laugh. I needed to see a woman proclaim, “THE ONLY THING FAKE ABOUT ME IS … THIS!” as she takes off her prosthetic leg and slams it on the table of Le Cirque, an upscale New York restaurant. This is a real scene that takes place in a season six episode of Real Housewives of New York, and the Housewife in question is Aviva Drescher (a known fan favourite). Watching this scene, and the dozens of others that accompany the lore of not only RHONY, but the larger Housewives franchise, provided me with a shallow, over-produced, often hilarious, and very occasionally genuinely heartwarming cloud for me to rest my weary head upon every day. It got me through the pandemic, and many bad days ever since. And before you judge me, dear reader, let me add that there is a very strong possibility that you spent your formative years wrapped up in the storylines of Y&R, General Hospital, or Days of Our Lives.

And truly like sands of the hourglass so were the days of Kyle and Kim Richards, Teresa Giudice, and Vicki Gunvalson’s lives as they’ve all delivered us nearly two decades worth of entertainment. They’ve dutifully listened to their producers and planted storylines, brought up specific talking points, and purposefully worked to create a curated scene in a show that is labeled “non-scripted.” But the real reality is that, even with the producers nudging and prodding, doing their best to take away the integrity of that word “reality,” genuine moments and very real situations still get caught on camera, and they make for incredible TV.

In the season 3 premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey, there is a brawl at the reception of the christening of Teresa Giudice’s (née Gorga) youngest daughter. The fight initially begins between Teresa and her younger brother Joe Gorga. The behind-the-scenes fuel to this fire is that Joe and his wife Melissa joined the cast of RHONJ, and Teresa does not like her sister-in-law to say the least. Teresa’s husband—whose name is coincidentally also Joe—quickly steps in and, because it’s a scene that seemingly could only come out of the mind of Scorsese, the two Joes begin to throw sluggers, and almost immediately the entire banquet hall descends into chaos as dozens of members of the extended Gorga and Giudice families as well as many varied associates of either side join the fight. It is so ridiculously over the top, and there is no denying that when that production crew walked in that morning to film that event—they may have anticipated drama, they may have even planted some suggestions of how to get a fight started—but they had no idea what was about to unfold at little Adrianna’s christening. This was the remedy I needed. It was so absurd, it was so funny, and there is just enough of an undercurrent of sadness—it becomes very apparent very quickly that there is a genuine, painful rift between Teresa and her brother Joe. The camera at one point cuts to their mother Antonia, as she quietly cries as the chaos unfolds around her. Her children are arguing, and now a fight at her granddaughter’s christening, mere hours after the Mass is being filmed to be aired on TV. The undercurrent of an often sad, genuine reality for the cast members was just enough that I felt a catharsis for the tragedies happening in my life and in the world around me. But more often than these sad moments, there were moments of undeniable, unintentional humour, and it has delivered the campiest, over-the-top scenes not seen on television since the likes of Susan Lucci.

In an incredible display of casting, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills once featured in its cast not one but two soap legends: Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson. And when you watch the “Dinner Fight Scene in Amsterdam” (a scene often referred to with a near biblical level of importance amongst Housewives fans), and you hear Kim Richards refer to Eileen Davidson as a beast, and then you see Eileen lean in, narrow her eyes so that Kim is the only thing in her gaze and whisper through her teeth with a hyperbolic level of shock and aghast “Beast?” as she cocks her head to the right and then to the left—and just like she’s back on the set of Y&R she repeats with somehow even more exasperation, “Beast?” I don’t care that she’s playing it up; there’s a reason she’s been playing Ashley Abbott for nearly 45 years—she’s incredible with the dramatics. That scene culminates in Lisa Rinna standing at the dinner table, she smashes her wine glass and nearly lunges at Kim Richards after Richards begins to allude to rumours about Rinna’s husband, Harry Hamlin. Again, the scene delivers the perfect cocktail of theatrics, and Rinna’s a professional, so if she’s playing it up at least she’s good at it. But again I argue, part of what makes it so good is yes maybe Rinna is playing it up, but there is a genuine anger and a desperation to get Kim to stop talking (the consensus amongst Housewives fans is that Kim was going to bring up allegations of sexual assault committed by Rinna’s husband Harry Hamlin).

This last note brings me to my next point about why watching Housewives was so cathartic for me. A good portion of these cast members amongst all franchises are at best out of touch with the reality of everyday people and are at worst all-out horrible, horrible people. I could fill out an entire paragraph discussing the various criminal acts committed by various Housewives that have been proven in a court of law. Jen Shah of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is currently in prison for being the head of numerous massive credit card scam rings that defrauded millions of dollars from primarily elderly victims. But here’s the thing: that means it’s ok to laugh at her and make fun of her. And sometimes, after you’ve had a long day of living in a world of “unprecedented events,” it just helps to be able to make fun of a clear-cut monster who somehow caught the eye of Bravo. Please note that Bravo was not aware of the crime ring that Jen Shah was running when they cast her. However, they did bless us with one of the best hours of television (step aside finale of MASH) when they aired footage of the full force of the FBI descending upon a sprinter van full of the Housewives on their way to a cast trip to Colorado, in search of Jen Shah who they had been following for years and building a case against for months. Shah had literally just escaped them (temporarily) after being tipped off by an unknown associate in an on-screen mic’d phone call. This scene did nothing to aid the state of the world at the time, but it was genuinely shocking and captivating to watch, and knowing that Shah was captured only hours later off-camera was extremely satisfying. It was liberating to see justice be served, in a time when justice was so barely being served in nearly every other situation around me.

I understand that there is a plethora of higher-brow, more intelligent media for me to consume out there. I understand that a scene of six grown women screaming at each other at a child’s birthday party over a headline in The Daily Post is not “prestige TV,” but I have to be honest, I don’t really care. When I first started watching The Real Housewives, I was going through a really hard time, and watching the catty drama made me laugh and feel a little bit better. What I’ve taken away from this experience is that it’s ok to indulge in silly things, especially in times of hardship. This is not a guilty pleasure, because I have nothing to feel guilty about. Whatever your Real Housewives may be—whether it’s romance novels or WWE Wrestling—I hope you enjoy it with pride. It’s a tough world out there, and we deserve all the little morsels of comfort that we can find. And in the case that you still think I’m taking a reality show too seriously, I will leave you with the immortal words of legendary Real Housewives of Atlanta star, Shereé Whitfield and say:

“Who gon check me boo?”